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My wife and her universe

My wife told me the other day that the universe was a manifestation of her inner self and therefore I was simply a figment of her imagination.

I took it on the chin and went to the pub, drank all night with my mates, slept in until 1 PM, then got up and demanded fried eggs for breakfast.

She asked me if I had lost my mind, to which I replied: “As you said yesterday, me and my behaviour are purely manifestations of your own subconscious mind.”

She has since decided that I am the centre of the universe and that if I ever want my imaginary wife to cook dinner for me again I’ll need to become a better person…

Mobile phone downgrade

I made the move away from portable browsers the other day. I needed to buy a new phone… I was thinking about the IPhone 4, which is obviously awesome, and I was also quite taken by the Galaxy note, which looks like it offers a bit more… but they both posed one huge problem for me.

When I have a smart phone in my hand, my brain completely switches off. It’s like there is a bypass built in between my sensory processor and my frontal lobe that kicks in the moment I am devoid of outside stimulation and forces me to grab my smart phone and start filling the space with emails, facebook, RSS feeds or online chess games…

I bought a $19 Samsung. Functions include: Phone calls, SMS, alarm clock…. there might be more, but the user interface is so archaic that it’s taken me 4 weeks to learn to reply to an SMS.

I’ve started drawing again…

Consumed by bullshit

Waking up for me is usually marked by the return to a standard cycle of thoughts. What am i doing at work, what should I be doing at work, which bit of it should I do first, who is stressing me out, how should i have handled that situation better… and on it goes.

Occasionally i can pull myself out of it for a fleeting moment to wonder why I am doing all this. Why don’t i just spend the day with the kids instead? But those scattered moments are quickly flushed out by the returning tide of worry.

It’s like eating a bowl of soup that is almost finished but never quite runs out. As you fill your spoon for another mouth full, you get a glimpse of the bottom of the bowl but the surrounding soup rushed in to fill the view hole. And then it’s like it was never there. the soup bowl has no bottom…