Waking up for me is usually marked by the return to a standard cycle of thoughts. What am i doing at work, what should I be doing at work, which bit of it should I do first, who is stressing me out, how should i have handled that situation better… and on it goes.

Occasionally i can pull myself out of it for a fleeting moment to wonder why I am doing all this. Why don’t i just spend the day with the kids instead? But those scattered moments are quickly flushed out by the returning tide of worry.

It’s like eating a bowl of soup that is almost finished but never quite runs out. As you fill your spoon for another mouth full, you get a glimpse of the bottom of the bowl but the surrounding soup rushed in to fill the view hole. And then it’s like it was never there. the soup bowl has no bottom…